I Like Clean, But Not Cleaning

After traveling the last two weekends and a busy schedule otherwise, I'll admit it. My house is gross. In the bathroom floor, there's nearly enough hair to make a wig. Remnants of travel accoutrement litter virtually every horizontal surface. The mini-blinds are fuzzy. The ceiling fan blades probably are, too, but I'm not stopping the fans to find out, forty-degree weather notwithstanding. In the family room, the tan rug is dotted with black Blinky fur. Sooner or later, all will be cleaned. (Probably later, if I had to venture a guess.) Vacuum cleaners and dishwashers are great, but don't you wish there were machines that cleaned everything? I need a machine to:

• Dust mini-blinds
• Dust everything, come to think of it
• Clean bathtubs and toilets
• Hang up/fold clothes from the dryer
• Mop floors
• Change bedsheets

If you or someone you know is an inventor, please take note of my list. And while you're at it, an automatic device to floss my teeth would be appreciated as well.