Shopping at 3 a.m.

When I couldn't sleep in the wee hours, I decided to shop for a waterproof mattress pad for the bed in my guest room (for benefit of the grandbabies). I meant to go to Amazon but instead went to Ebay. It was 3 a.m. after all. Since I was there, I typed my request into the search field. Here's the description of the first one I saw (edited somewhat in the interest of good, or at least mediocre, taste):

Application:

1. For infants used to bed-wetting and sicking-up;

2. For women ... to prevent besmirch of bed mattress;

3. For patients and elderly confined in bed, who usually humidify pillow and mattress with their perspiration due to long time stay in bed;

4. For school dormitory and holiday entertainment houses, where gatherings are often held to entertain a large number of people, which might cause spattering of liquid or food on pillow and mattress;

5. For hotel rooms during tour to prevent people from bacteria or other attacks caused by dirty mattress.

OK, then. I think that more than covers it. Pun intended.